Mark Barman

Dear family, friends, and co-workers, We are empathizing with your loss. Mark was significant in the therapy of my father, Alfred Endres. May the good memories carry you through these hard days. Lots of Hugs Beverly Endres Gordon

Instead of sending a ordinary sympathy card, I decided to email a message in order for it to be communicated to all of the people with whom Mark shared his love and his life. My six siblings and I felt an intense sadness when we learned of Mark's death because our father entered Good Samaritan Center five and a half years ago with a broken hip for which Mark was ours and Dad's hope and support and strength. Several years ago, Dad and his buddies at his dining table even tried to set Mark up with one of my friends who went to the nursing to provide musical entertainment. We all appreciated Mark's kindness and efforts to help our father, and my father liked and respected Mark. My family lost a 39 year old sibling to suicide in 1989, and I cry as I type this although I am unwilling to actually feel all the pain we felt at that time. I fully realize that each situation is different, but I identify with your loss of Mark as my brother also was bright and accomplished and kind and loved. It is important to realize that even though all of you lost a loved one, your grief and healing will proceed on individual paths. Be good to yourselves and keep expectations of each other at a minimum as no one has much to give when everyone is in pain. Below is part of a meditation from Survivors of Suicide meetings. I attended sessions in Milwaukee and others in my family attended meetings in Madison. No one is expected to talk other than to say one's first name and one's relationship to the person who died. Such meetings may be helpful for members of your family. I suggest attending twice before making a decision on its effectiveness. 'For all of us, life remains a mystery and we can only choose to trust and to love. We cannot choose to know; we cannot choose for others.' Thinking of you and sharing a small part of your devastating loss, Sincerely, Louise Endres Moore

Was very sorry to hear about Mark's death. He was always so willing to help us with problems about Dad at the Nursing home He was patient and knowledgeable, and we missed him after he left the NH. I know this will be a very hard time for you all, but wanted you to know our thoughts and prayers are with you. Del

I am sorry to say that I just had the chance to know Mark briefly, mostly at the rehab meetings at HHU. He was kind and thoughtful. All spoke highly of him. He touched many lives through his work. Our thoughts and prayers got out to all his friends and family.