Thomas A. Selsor

Thomas A. Selsor

May 14, 1946 - January 18, 2025

Obituary

LIVESTREAM SERVICE:

Tom's Livestream Service will begin at 12 noon CT on Saturday, January 25, 2025. Scroll down to the Webcast section and click on “Watch Now.”


STOUGHTON - Thomas Allen Selsor, 78, passed away January 18, 2025, surrounded by his wife and family. We have it on good authority that St. Peter let him through the gates but couldn’t resist rolling his eyes a little.


Tom was born in California on May 14, 1946, to June and Allen Selsor. At 6 months of age, he moved with his mother and older sister to Nuremburg, Germany, where his father was stationed as a Colonel in the U.S. Army. Tom returned to the United States at the age of 4, fluent in German (none of which he remembered) and with a love of BMW motorcycles. After high school, he made a deal with his parents that if they let him buy a motorcycle, he would agree to go to college. So, in the summer of 1964, he took off on his motorcycle through the Rocky Mountains for Ripon College in Ripon, Wis., where he majored in English. Although his motorcycle and leather jacket caught the eye of all the ladies at Ripon, it was Carolyn Calandra who captured his heart. They were married on August 31, 1968, in Skokie, Ill. Tom would sometimes quip that marrying Carolyn was one of the few good decisions he ever made in his life.


Tom went on to earn his Ph.D. in American Literature from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1973 while also serving in the ROTC. Tom and Carolyn had their first two children while living in Madison during the late 60s and early 70s. They have many colorful stories about raising a young family during the Vietnam War on one of the country's most radical campuses. Tom fondly recalled sprinting through tear gas with his shirt over his mouth and nose to get to the library for his dissertation research.


After grad school, Tom took a job teaching literature at St. Mary's College in South Bend, Ind. Later, his entrepreneurial spirit called him to start his own business. With limited experience and even more limited funds, he and Carolyn started Berkeley Corporation, a construction company, in Granger, Ind. Together, they built and managed many residential and commercial properties in and around northern Indiana and Michigan. In 2001, they also started a BMW Motorcycle shop in South Bend, Ind., with their oldest son.


After retiring from a successful career in real estate and construction, Tom and Carolyn moved to Stoughton, Wis. (just outside Madison) in 2009, where they have lived since. Tom stayed involved in the community, serving on the Stoughton City Council for several years and writing frequent pieces for the Madison and Stoughton newspapers.


He loved Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, and famously after a few drinks, Harry Belafonte. (Ask us the story later.) He read and wrote poetry and short stories, loved Thoreau, Frost, Longfellow and Dickinson. He loved Melville, Hawthorne, Emerson, and Twain. He loved unique vintage cars and owned many through his life which he also shared with his children.


Tom is survived by his wife of 56 years, Carolyn; his children, Mike, Andy, and Maria; his daughters-in law, Laurie and Bettina; and his grandchildren, Tyler, Johanna, Robbie and Corrina; as well as many cherished nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by his son, Dan; and his sisters, Pat Travis and Lorraine Petzy.


Visitation will be held at GUNDERSON STOUGHTON FUNERAL AND CREMATION CARE, 1358 Highway 51 N. at Jackson St., Stoughton, on Saturday, January 25, 2025, at 10 a.m. with a service to follow at 12 noon. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Stoughton Public Library, one of his favorite places to be.


Online condolences may be made at www.gundersonfh.com.


Gunderson Stoughton
Funeral & Cremation Care
1358 Highway 51 N. @ Jackson St.
(608) 873-4590



Events

25
Visitation
Sat Jan 25, 2025 @ 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM CDT
Gunderson Stoughton Funeral & Cremation Care • 1358 Hwy 51 N. @ Jackson St., Stoughton, WI 53589
25
Memorial Service
Sat Jan 25, 2025 @ 12:00 PM CDT
Gunderson Stoughton Funeral & Cremation Care • 1358 Hwy 51 N. @ Jackson St., Stoughton, WI 53589
DH
Debbie Huff
Other •
Tom was a caring and an interesting man. Carolyn is a sweet and loving woman. Michael and our family have broken hearts at his passing. We love the Selsor family. ❤️we have to many wonderful memories of this family and ours as Michael went to work for Tom at a time when he had a broken arm but Tom & Carolyn hired him anyway. They were with us for our ups and downs throughout almost 20 years of employment. First Michael built houses with Tom. Then the BMW bike shop. I’ve heard my husband say many times that was the happiest of times. Tom &Carolyn blessed our little family so many times those years. I remember a time when my husband was so sick that he couldn’t work and Tom called and asked to speak to Michael. I gave him the phone and as Tom spoke to him tears filled his eyes and rolled down his cheeks with Tom telling him to just get better and he will continue to get paid. We were so blessed to have that pressure off of Michael’s shoulders. Tom also told Michael something that no one knew but us three. It was never discussed but showed Michael how much Tom cared for us. He told Michael on the phone that he already lost a son and he wasn’t going to lose another one. To those who knew now understands what I’m saying. We were all family then and now. Our hearts weep with Carolyn and the Selsor family. We also have way to many of loving and family memories to mention. A funny memory that comes to mind is the first time I met Tom. My husband was at a building site. I saw Tom with a clipboard and he was walking around the site and touching the top of the stumps that where cut off. Without knowing at that time who Tom was(the boss) I walked up to him and said your not touching those stumps are you? Tom replied yes,I was just wondering what that wet stuff is on them. And I say this because this set the tone for our relationship for the next 20 years. I said that’s from the workers. He looked at me somewhat confused. I said that’s their bathroom breaks. Tom instantly started wiping his hand on his pants. I laughed and said, I’m tricking you. It’s not. lol. I walked over to Michael and asked who is that man? At my surprise he said that’s my new boss Tom. I stayed out of his way as much as possible after that. But the bonds were formed and love and appreciation was given to this man that had given us so much. Michael is at work now but I know he would want me to say how much he loved Tom. Heaven is a wonderful place but even more so because we will reunite with our love ones that go on before us. The Bible does teach us that we take our memories with us when we go to heaven. I promise that if there is fresh tree stumps and I see Tom I will just keep walking. To the family you are always in our prayers and memories. May God grant you peace at this most difficult time. We love each and everyone of you. ❤️❤️❤️
GA
Gail Albright
Other •
To Carolyn and family, So sorry to hear of Tom's passing. Deepest sympathy and prayers to you all. Love, Gail Albright, Loveland, OH
LD
Larry D.Oakley
Other •
So sorry to hear of Tom's passing.I have Great memories of the BMW dealership in South Bend .I remember my wife asking Tom about how it came to be the Reality Company was named Berkeley,as my wife was from Berkeley,California.Turns out they were from the same area and met for the first time 2,500 miles from home.My best wishes to the family and thank you for the memories.Larry D. Oakley Mishawaka ,IN
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Bob Kahn (aka kj)
Other •
Tom was one of the most engaging, fun loving and quircky friends I had in my college life at Ripon College. I think that we mostly showed ourselves to be fun loving, but Tom had a deeper side of serious endevour for literature,intelligence, personal ethics, compassion for others, and other positive qualities. I shall very much miss him. Bob Kahn (aka kj)
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Maria Hougan
Other •
Dear Carolyn and family, I am so sorry to hear of Tom’s passing. He was a wonderful and kind soul. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Maria “Pili” Hougan
DC
Dave and Laura Crotser
Other •
Tom built our home in 1991 in Granger Indiana. My husband and I were young and ignorant. Tom and his wife, Carolyn, guided us each step of the way. We appreciated Tom's dry sense of humor. We were so appreciative of all that they did for us that we asked if we could take them out to dinner once our home was complete. They graciously accepted and a friendship was formed. We still live in that house and we are grateful for the quality work that Tom did. We enjoyed running into both Tom and Carolyn "around town" until they moved to Wisconsin. Our heartfelt condolences to Carolyn and the rest of the family.

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