Judith M. Gay
October 24, 1936 - March 20, 2024
Obituary
Judith M. Gay passed away peacefully on her own terms, at home, on March 20, 2024, after a long and courageous battle with triple organ failure. Judith was a legendary mother, grandmother, foster mother, sibling, neighbor, nurse, aunt, volunteer, and friend to all those she engaged and encountered.
Judith was born Oct. 24, 1936, in Racine, Wis., to Robert Joseph and Ida Mary DeFries. Her love for family, the Catholic church, and taking care of people started at her parent’s home on Douglas Avenue in Racine. She grew up with her Dutch (DeFries) and Italian (Zanchetti) relatives and remained close to her roots, siblings and cousins from both sides of the family until her death. She was baptized at St. Rita’s Catholic Church, graduated from St. Rita’s Middle School and St. Catherine's High School (1955) and received her Nursing degree in 1958 from Mercy School of Nursing in Janesville.
Judy’s life journey was not ordinary. At age 14, she had experimental spinal fusion to correct her double scoliosis that necessitated nearly a year in bed post-op while wearing a Milwaukee back brace. At the age of 39 after developing pneumonia and blood clots she was given last rights. Later in life, she survived transitional cell cancer and breast cancer. Perseverance, along with her faith and family, made her stronger moving forward. Judy loved life, and she never complained.
On July 28, 1962, she married her husband of 55 years, Ervin Carl Gay, at St. Rita's Church in Racine. They made their home with their six children on Agate Lane on Madison's east side. Judy and Ervin’s philosophy was that there was always room for more, opening their home to dozens of Dane County foster children and several foreign exchange students.
Erv and Judy also endorsed the philosophy of giving back, volunteering at St. Dennis Catholic Church and school (where their children attended) and participating in multiple mission trips to Okolona Mississippi and a Navajo reservation in Arizona.
Professionally, Judy was the head RN at Madison’s Karmenta Nursing home during the 1970s and early 1980s. During the day she managed the family/home and then worked the second shift at the Nursing Home until midnight. In 1985, Erv and Judy opened Lakeview Manor (CBRF) for seniors, and in 1996 retired to their farmette near Marshall, Wis.
Judy said, “One of the best times in her life was having five kids under six years of age.” She lived for her kids and grandkids and their accomplishments. She also loved hot tea with a spoonful of sugar, dark chocolate, tomatoes from Erv’s garden, popcorn or frozen pizza night with the kids in the family room, reading books, writing and receiving old fashioned letters, being the principal of the stay-at-home club, collecting lighthouses, cobalt blue glass objects and Pfaltzgraff dinnerware, watching Wisconsin March Madness high school basketball, rooting for Americans at the Olympics, and attending the St. Dennis Festival to get her obligatory corn on the cob and Italian sausage dinner.
Erv and Judy also loved camping, be it state parks, cross-country treks to national parks pulling their trailer or weekends at the “land” near Dodgeville, Wis. Later in life, visiting Sandy on Friday to get “luscious,” reading the Catholic Herald from cover to cover, having visitors at her apartment, and attending family gatherings (FriesFest & ZanchettiFest) provided Judy immense joy.
In traditional Italian style, much time was spent in the kitchen and Judy was known for her delectable lasagna, spaghetti, artichoke dip, and “Grandma Jam” made from Erv’s raspberry patch, her canning of tomatoes into conserva, and the traditional “Christmas tree ice cream.”
Judith is survived by her six children, Mary Jude (Chris) Doerpinghaus of Dublin, Calif., Julie Beyler of Madison, Michael Gay of Madison, Thomas Gay of Cheyenne, Wy., Laura (Daryle) Cohrs of Cypress, Texas, and Judah (Christy) Nyden of Annapolis, Md.; and her 10 grandchildren, Allison (Kyle) Caudill and Evan Doerpinghaus, Nicole and Nathan Beyler, Madyson, Ashlyn, Chandlyr, and Austyn Cohrs, and Aubrey and Kattrin Nyden.
She is also survived by her two sisters, Mary Margaret (Sissy) Mueller and Faith Schulte, her sisters-in-law, Becky DeFries, Shirley Gay, Marilyn Gay and Darlene Braun; her brother-in-law, Michael Schulte Sr.; numerous nieces and nephews; and some of the dearest friends, cousins, and neighbors a woman could have.
Judith was preceded in death by her husband, Ervin Gay, her parents; her brother, Robert DeFries Jr.; her brothers-in-law, Bob Mueller, Ernie Gay, Ted Gay, Jr., and Art Braun; her son-in-law, Geary Beyler; and Ervin’s parents.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at ST. DENNIS CATHOLIC CHURCH, 505 Dempsey Road, Madison, at 11 a.m. on Tuesday, April 2, 2024, with Father Gary Krahenbuhl presiding. Burial will be held at Highland Memory Gardens. A visitation will be held at the church from 9 a.m. until the time of the Mass on Tuesday.
In remembrance of Judy’s life, the family asks that any charitable donations be made to St. Dennis Catholic School and Heartland Hospice.
Online condolences may be made at www.gundersonfh.com.
Gunderson East
Funeral & Cremation Care
5203 Monona Drive
(608) 221-5420