Jean Ann Gacayan-Read

MAY YOUR LOVE OF LIFE ALWAYS SHINE DOWN ON YOUR LOVED ONES.

Jean was a wonderful child care provider! Her licensed in-home center, Cuddles and Hugs Family Child Care, provided a valuable service to the children and families of our community. I always enjoyed visiting her because she provided such kind and loving care of the children. She was also very knowledgeable about child development, and it showed in the thoughtful way she set up her child care space and in the activities she provided for the children. She will be dearly missed. Barb Hoffman, Licensing Specialist Department of Children and Families

God Bless the Kosak and Gacayan-Read families. Jean was a wonderful sister, friend, wife and mother. Rest in Peace.

I will miss my dear old friend of some 35 years. Jean was a kind and loving soul, courageous, generous, and strong. When I heard the news that she finally passed, it was a very somber moment. But then I raised a toast to her, to the fun times we had, to her very rich life and the people in it, and to her warmth, strength, and grace that will stay forever with everyone she loved and left behind. I am sad that she's gone, but I am better for having known her. Peace out Jean!

Here is a copy of the Eulogy in its entirety that I gave at Jeannie's funeral: I was standing in Jean and Rolly’s kitchen Sunday morning with Rolly, the day after she died. I leaned against the counter, behind me the surfaces were littered with all kinds of vitamin supplements, bottles of morphine, there was the log where all of her caretakers wrote down what she ate and drank everyday, all of these plastic little straws that we cut to the exact right size so she could reach her bone broth, her bolt juice or cranberry juice, orange medical syringes and the green ceramic cups that were the perfect size for her to hold. Diagonally across from me just a couple feet away, Rolly leaned against the kitchen sink, his arms folded across his chest. He was looking down at the floor. The exhaustion from staying up all night crying was worn all over his face…. It was silent for a long time with just the sound of the refrigerator running in the background. We both leaned there quietly, neither knowing what to say. She was gone. Staring over his left shoulder, I notice a sad little plant in a small pot , “Rolly” I said nodding my head upward, “ ya gotta water that little guy, he’s gonna croak!” Rolly turned around to get a good look at the wilty green sprout and laughed out loud. “ Barb”, he laughed: “I am terrible with plants! SHE’s the one that makes them grow” “She made EVERTHING grow. “Everything she touched grew! “ Flowers… Plants… Children… money,…love…. faith in God.” I smiled and nodded in complete agreement. I thought of my sister…. the devoted wife and mother/grandmother/teacher/dancing princess warrior/ recycler of everything even zip lock bags … He was right, she DID make everything grow. He wiped away his tears and as he did, the large tattoo on his fore arm was in full view, a Teal cross, the words family at the bottom and at the top in large letters Jean. He glanced around the kitchen, his eyes taking in the other plants and trees by the kitchen window… the kitchen table where she held many, many, daycare birthday parties, all special, all with homemade decorations designed specifically for each child. Did they like pink princesses? If so, they got a pink princess birthday. If their favorite animals were polka dotted baby elephants…well… they got a polka dotted baby elephant birthday complete with toy singing birthday cake and candles that would light up! He glanced at the refrigerator door that used to be covered top to bottom with pictures of everyone in her life, to the left was a life size poster picture for kids to learn about of the bones and muscles of the human body taped to the pantry door. Finally he looked at me and said through his tears, “There will never be another one like her Barb. I will never find another woman like her. She made me the man I am today. She took a broken man like me and built me up. Showed me to have faith in God, showed me what it meant to be a TRUE Christian.’ It was quiet again. I looked out the kitchen window and hoped he was wrong. I mean I thought why can’t there be more people like Jeannie. Why can’t we live in a world and where the world is FULL of Jeannie’s? A world filled with People who put others first, who think of other’s needs before their own…. A world where everyone makes homemade cards with rainbow, kitten unicorn butterflies. Why CAN”T we live in a Jeannie world where EVERYONE is kind to children and gets down on the floor to play with them instead of talking AT them, down to them or constantly telling them what to do? A world where you get multiples of the same Buzzlight year action figure because you want everyone to have a Buzzlight year action figure. A world where people want to know your name, where you are from and a little about your family. Everywhere you would go people, would smile first and then listen. They would listen to you without judgement. They would expect the best of you and for you. And they would always give you the benefit of the doubt,. Jeannie people you would want to be your very best person you could be. They would have buckets and buckets of patience. In the Jeannie world, everyone would pause and really listen to the song of a red winged black bird sitting on its perch in the marsh and everywhere you go there would be marigolds, and lots and lots of flowers. Large parts of the world would look like Olbrich Gardens….. No, I don’t want to live in a world without Jeannie’s . So, could everyone here do the world a favor a help create a Jeannie world. You can do it in your own way but if you need help Here I have some suggestions: 1. Plant SOMETHING. I don’t know a tree, a bush, flowers, vegetables. Plant her favorite flower, marigolds. Pick up the seed packet in the hallway out there and plant some flowers in the spring and then send Rolly a picture. 2. Reuse and recycle stuff: You can wash out that Ziploc bags…just run some hot water and soap in them and turn them inside out. 3. Play with kids. Make puppets talk, use funny voices, run, jump and sing with children. Be kind and patience with them. 4. Dance…dance your butt off. Dance your butt off every day. Make a beautiful Jeannie world we can all live in, laugh and love in. One of the last days, I spent with me sister was the Friday before she died. It was 2:30 in the afternoon and I was in her neighborhood. I didn’t really need to stop in, her son Brian was there taking care of her and her son Peter had just left to head to work. I was having a crappy day, man I was in a grumpy, terrible mood; nothing seemed to be going right that day for me. I parked the car and walked up to the house, walked in like I always did, took off my shoes, glanced across the kitchen and caught a glimpse of my sister laying in her hospital bed in the living room . Man she looked so small and so weak. She was sleeping, I checked her food and medicine journal and noticed she needed a med and so I woke her to put a tiny white pill under her tongue and gave her a little water to wash it down. She popped one eye open, weakly smiled when she saw me, drank the water and closed her eyes again. It was quiet; Brian sat in the rocking chair nearby. I bent over her face and smiling at her I started stroking her hair. She woke up for a moment again and this time she looked like she was in pain. It was so hard to see her in pain, she was in pain a lot and most days all day long. And, when she was in pain, there was very little a person could immediately do for her. I don’t know why I thought it would help at all but I said, “hey, sis, wanna hear a joke?” Her eyes fluttered open for a brief second and closed again… She knew what was coming… It was THE joke. The Kosak joke, same corny joke, same corny punch line that would make us all descend inexplicably into giggles. We don’t know why we think it’s funny. We just do. Looking up at the ceiling, I took a deep dramatic breath and began the joke as if it was the first time I told it. “Okay, “ I began, “ there are two ducks in a bath tub.” (I looked down at her, her eyes were closed, was she listening? ...she didn’t even flinch, I pressed on. “ One says to the other hey, can you pass me the soap? “And the other duck scoffs and says, “What do you think I am? an orange?” At the delivery of the time tested punch line, Jeannie broke into her Jeannie smile and chuckled. That was the last time I heard her laugh. I gave her a kiss on the head, and got down close to her ear and whispered, “I love you Jeannie II will see you tomorrow.” I walked away quietly through the kitchen, opened the front door and walked out into the cold winter afternoon. Got in the car, started up the engine and pulled away from 804 Gary St. The sun shone into the windshield and I thought about Jeannie laughing at the duck in the bathtub joke and I broke into a smile. I felt the problems of my day melt away, I forgot about having a terrible grumpy no good mood. And could feel happiness GROWing in my heart. Rolly, my dear brother….. You ARE right. She does make EVERYTHING grow.